My 10-Day Vipassana Experience (Silent Meditation Retreat)

21 min readSep 27, 2021

A story about joining Vipassana Meditation

My dream to attend Vipassana Meditation Retreat started in September 2018 when I applied for the first time in the Dhamma Sikhara Dharamshala Centre. They rejected my application every year 2018,2019, 2020. Luckily, My application was accepted for May 2021 but eventually, It got cancelled again due to Covid-19 Second Wave in India.

Fortunately, I got a call from the Vipassana Centre on 29th August 2021 about joining the Vipassana Meditation Course starting from 1st September to 12th September. I was not at home when I got a response from the centre about this. I immediately told them that I was coming. After that, I booked an appointment for an RTPCR Test for Covid in Dr Lal Path Lab the next day.

On 31st August I had to pack my bags for the 10 days of the Vipassana Meditation Course. I was going from a bus after a long time alone

Recently, I attended a ten-day silent Vipassana meditation retreat — ten days without technology, speaking, reading, writing, listening to music, exercising, or communicating in any way. Oh, and of course, close to 11 hours of meditating a day.

In this article, I’ll share my detailed experiences with you. This involves flow experiences, seemingly unbearable back and neck pain, fighting with boredom, finding out what type of people really meditate, becoming enlightened (yeah right!) and much more. It took me 4 years to finally attend this 10 days Vipassana Meditation. It was like a dream come true moment. Never Give up on something you really want in life.

But first, what is Vipassana anyway? How does it work? What’s the point of it? And why would anyone do it?

What is a 10-Day Vipassana Course Anyway?

Vipassana, which means seeing things as they really are, is one of the world’s most popular meditation techniques. It was supposedly taught by Buddha himself in India more than 2500 years ago.

Today, the technique of Vipassana is taught in 10-day courses all over the world. The courses are completely free of charge. All expenses are met by donations from old students — people who went through a course before, experienced the benefits, and wish to give others the opportunity to benefit as well.

The worldwide centres are built, maintained, and run by an organization founded by the recently deceased S.N. Goenka Ji. The organization is non-sectarian and welcomes people from all faiths and backgrounds.

S. N. Goenka Ji, the organization’s founder, is also the main teacher of the technique through audio and video recordings taken from one of his previous retreats.

Why Did I Choose to Participate in a Vipassana Course?

Before we get to my detailed experience of the ten-day retreat, I want to give you an understanding of why I chose to go through this in the first place. People go on such retreats for numerous different reasons. For me, the main reason was to experience noble silence for 10 days and know my subconscious mind on a deeper level.

According to books and articles I’ve read on the topic, some of those benefits include:

Improved immune function, decreased inflammation, many other improved health markers.
Decreased anxiety, depression, stress.
Increased positive emotions, decreased negative emotions, more happiness.
Improved relationships, increases in social connection, Less feelings of loneliness.
Improved focus and attention, memory, creative thinking.
Improved self-control, emotion regulation, concentration, introspection.

How Does It Work? The Precepts and Course Rules.

So, how does a retreat work anyway? What are the rules? What does a typical day look like? That’s what we’ll cover next.

For starters, attendees of a Vipassana course must undertake five precepts for the duration of the course:

1) to abstain from killing any being;

2) to abstain from stealing;

3) to abstain from all sexual activity;

4) to abstain from telling lies;

5) to abstain from all intoxicants.

In addition to the precepts, attendees should also adhere to the following rules:

Noble Silence. Students must observe noble silence from the beginning of the course until the morning of the last full day. This means any form of communication with fellow meditators — whether by gestures, written notes, eye contact, or sign language — is prohibited. (You can talk to teachers or course managers regarding problems related to the technique, food, accommodation, etc.)
No rites, rituals, or other religious ceremonies. During the course, all other forms of worship, prayer, or religious ceremony should be discontinued.
No mixing of techniques. All other forms of meditation, healing or spiritual practice should be suspended. You’re not allowed to mix any other practices with Vipassana.
Separation of Women and Men. During the course, there is complete segregation of men and women. There should be no contact with the other sex whatsoever.
No physical contact. Whether it’s between persons of the same or opposite sex, there should be no physical contact whatsoever throughout the ten days.
No physical exercise. Jogging, Yoga, and all other forms of exercise are prohibited during the course. Walking is allowed and encouraged — there is a designated walking area available on the compound.
No smoking, drinking, or other drugs. Drugs, alcohol, or any other intoxicants are not allowed. This includes sleeping pills, tranquillizers, and other sedatives. (If you need to take medication, just notify the course manager.)
Clothing should be comfortable, simple, and modest. Tight, transparent, or revealing clothes (shorts, skirts, etc.) are not allowed. Sunbathing and partial nudity are not permitted either.
No phone, no internet, no outside contacts. Outside communication — including phone calls, letters, and visitors — is not allowed during the course. Smartphones and other electronic devices must be deposited with the management until day eleven. (In case of emergency, friends or family may contact the course management.)
Stay on the compound. Students are to remain within the course boundaries throughout the ten days.
No music, no reading, no writing. Listening to music, playing musical instruments, reading, or writing are not allowed. Taking notes is not permitted either because it’s seen as a distraction for the student.
No filming, no taking pictures. If you want to record, film, or take pictures, first ask the course manager for permission.

The rules may sound a bit strict and draconic in the beginning. After the course, however, I realize that most of them make total sense and are simply there to make life easier for the students.

How Does It Work? The Timetable.

The same timetable is used on all retreats all over the world. Here’s what it looks

Let’s go through the different points step by step

Morning wake-up bell. We got woken by a gong at 4 a.m. every morning. We then had thirty minutes until the first meditation. Some of my fellow meditators used this time to shower or for general hygiene while others just continued to sleep.

Meditate in the hall or your room. During these meditations, it was completely up to us whether we wanted to meditate in the hall or our own room. Many people spent these entire meditations in their room, some slept during the time, and others took walks. Ten minutes before the meditation starts, the gong rings, signalling you to get ready.

Breakfast break. The breakfast break was an hour long. The food consisted of a variety of vegetarian foods, including bread, Jam, Poha, Fruits, Tea and Porridge. I usually went for fruits, bread and black tea with Porridge. The rest of the time I used to either walking or take some rest till 7:50 am. Although, I took shower only 2 days (1st & 4th day) out of all 10 days due to extreme rain and cold.

Group meditation in the hall. For these three one-hour long meditations, everyone had to be in the hall. After day four, these meditations become sittings of strong determination (more on that later).

Inside View of Dhamma Hall 1 of Meditation

Meditate in the hall or your room according to the teacher’s instructions. For these meditations, everyone had to be in the hall at the beginning. Then, the teacher told us whether we should stay or could choose freely between meditating in our rooms or the hall. One of four groups usually stayed: old male students, old female students, new male students, new female students. If your group was told to stay, you kept meditating in the hall until the teacher asked you along with three fellow meditators to join him in the front of the hall. Then he asked you if you understood the new instructions (there were some new instructions and refinements of the technique daily) and asked you to meditate in front of him for a few minutes. Apparently, this was so that he could send you and the three other students love, kindness, and strength for the upcoming days. After that, you were free to keep meditating in the hall or meditate in your room.

Lunch break (+ rest and interviews with teachers). Lunch break was two hours long. The food was pretty good, usually consisting of a combination of rice/chapati with dal/Vegetables. The green salad was always available, too. Plus, there was even dessert such as Rice Pudding (kheer). After lunch, I followed the same routine on most days: napping for 40–60 minutes and then walking until the gong signalled the next meditation. During the lunch break, there was also the possibility to schedule interviews with the meditation teachers. I asked my doubt questions from the teacher in the last couple of days about meditation.

Tea break. The hourly tea break offered a combination of Namkeen, Tea & Biscuits. I usually just had a glass of Black tea with Biscuits and Namkeen and then went outside for a walk until the next meditation started.

Teacher’s Discourse in the hall. Every evening after the last one-hour group meditation, there were so-called Dhamma talks — video discourses by S.N. Goenka explaining some of the theory and benefits of the technique. In many ways, these discourses were the highlight of my days. The talks were fun, interesting, and inspiring. They lifted my spirits and motivated me to keep going the next day. (You find many of his discourses on YouTube as well.)

After the discourse, there was a short break followed by approximately 15 more minutes of meditation in the hall. After that last session, there was the opportunity to stay in the hall and ask questions. I never stayed and instead went straight to bed. Thankfully, I never had any trouble falling asleep or staying asleep throughout the night.

And that’s it. That’s what a typical day looked like. Around Eleven hours of meditation. Two real meals. A nap. Lots of walking and stretching in-between meditation sessions. A highly entertaining and charismatic dhamma talk. Sleep. Repeat.

Day 0: Arriving at the Center and Meeting My Fellow Meditators

First Picture at Dhamma Center in the morning at Day 0.

For day 0, participants were told to arrive for check-in between 2 pm and 5 pm before dinner would be served at 6 pm. But I reached at 7:30 am in the morning from the Bus Stand of Dharamshala. It took me only 15 minutes to reach the centre by taxi.

Upon arrival at the centre, we were told to fill out some required paperwork (name, age, address, prior experience, and stuff like that) at 2 pm and to hand in our smartphones and other non-allowed items at 4 pm.

After that, I made my way to the room I got assigned for the next ten days. My room no. 11 was at B Block in the centre

Once dinner was over at 7 pm, the noble silence started. We got some general info from the course managers in the dining room before heading to the dhamma hall for the first time. We were assigned our meditation spot and got our first instructions from our teacher, S N Goenka, through an audiotape.

If I remember correctly, the instructions were about 30 to 40 minutes long. We were told about some of the basics of the technique along with some of its history and some instructions for the meditation itself.

It was during that time that I realized for the first time just how hard this was going to get. After sitting for about 10–15 minutes, I already started experiencing lots of pain and discomfort. All I had to do was listen to an audio recording for a little over half an hour and already I was struggling — a foretaste of what was to come.

Once this introduction was over, it was time to go to bed. Thankfully, sleep never was an issue during the course. I was able to fall asleep fairly quickly and sleep through most of the night. I also rarely struggled with fatigue, but more on that later.

Day 1: Let the Struggle Begin

At 4 a.m. a gong went off multiple times and jolted me out of sleep. I got out of bed and made my way to the meditation hall. I sat down on my cushions, tried to find a comfortable sitting position, and started meditating.

I could concentrate for a few minutes but my mind got distracted every time with thousands of thoughts. It was very tough to concentrate on the first day. We were supposed to do AnaPana Meditation for the first 3.5 days.

After about ten minutes, my early enthusiasm started fading and the madness began. Turns out my mind and body were not delighted to sit in meditation for such long periods of time and started revolting. The body signalled its unhappiness through pain, aches, and discomfort. The mind through restlessness and agitation.

Long story short, those were two of the longest hours of my entire life. The madness just didn’t seem to come to an end. I had to change my posture approximately every 5 minutes. I just couldn’t sit still for longer than that, constantly giving in to the pain of my body and the restless nature of my mind. I was always wondering, “How long is this going to take?! This is impossible! There’s no way two hours aren’t over yet. This must be a mistake.”

And then there it was: The chanting of S N Goenka, our meditation teacher, signalling that the end of the meditation was near. What a relief. Soon I had made it. Well, actually it still took thirty more minutes, but somehow I made it to the end of that first session.

During and after that exhausting experience, thoughts of agony and despair were rushing through my mind: “This was just the beginning… just the first meditation… just a taste of what’s to come… I’m still fresh… I just slept for 8 hours… yet I am already completely beat… I am already destroyed… everything hurts… how am I going to survive this?”

Okay, maybe things weren’t as bad as I make it sound. Just observe them with detachment and accept that they’re there. No need to freak out. No need to question everything. No need to worry about whatever bullshit the mind wants you to get caught up in. Just let the thoughts be there and do your thing.

After the 2-hour morning meditation, it was time for breakfast. Options included Oats, bread, jam, fruits and lots of tea.

After breakfast, I took a shower and went for a walk until the gong signalled the beginning of the next meditation.

The rest of Day 1 was just as much of a struggle as the first two hours. I had to keep changing my posture every couple of minutes because I couldn’t handle the discomfort and restlessness of my mind.

It was a constant battle between temporarily giving up (“I can’t do this anymore. I need some rest.”) and then making a comeback (“C’mon, we can go for another five minutes.”) and then giving up again (“I just don’t have the discipline to keep going.”) and then making another comeback and so on.

The cool thing I realized was that I had much more self-discipline, vigour, and strength than I expected. As you get pushed to the outer edges of your limits, you find that the reserves are there. It’s like they say, we are capable of so much more than we think.

The highlight of Day 1 was undoubtedly the Dhamma discourse in the evening. Goenka explained some of the theories behind the technique, why it will benefit us, what to expect in the future, and most importantly assured us that our struggles are completely normal and to be expected. His charismatic and funny nature really loosened things up quite a bit. The talk brightened my mood and motivated me for the next day.

In the aftermath, the first day was definitely the hardest for me.

Days 2–4: Slight Improvements, Flow, and Strong Determination

On days 2–4, things slowly improved. I was much better at dealing with pain, discomfort, and restlessness. I could now easily sit in a posture for 10–15 minutes, which allowed me to practice a lot more calmly and with more concentration.

During group meditations, I sometimes took a minute or two to look at my fellow meditators. This was helpful because it made me realize that they were struggling just as much as I was. Some of them were looking around as well, some were sitting with their heads in hands, some were scratching their heads, some were obviously taking a break, and one even had to be woken up by the course server because of his snoring disturbed us other meditators.

Phew, so I really wasn’t the only guy going through living hell here. My fellow meditators were struggling just as much, some seemingly even more than I was. This sense of common humanity and not being alone in my despair helped me a lot.

It was almost like a kind of flow experience. The nagging voice in my head had subsided and I was so fully in the moment that the perception of time somehow escaped my consciousness. I was just sitting there, paying attention to my breath as time flew by until the gong went off, signalling the end of the meditation.

This experience boosted my mood and optimism dramatically. I expected to have more and more of these pleasant meditations as time went on. In the aftermath, I turned out to be wrong. The vast majority of my sessions from day 2 forward were a struggle. Looking back at the full ten days, I don’t think I’ve had another meditation that was nearly as pleasant as this one.

While things improved compared to day 1, except for that one bright session, days 2–4 were still incredibly nerve-wracking, hard, and challenging. Over and over again I got pushed to the limit of my abilities, wondering how much longer I could take this. It was a constant battle.

In the afternoon of day 4, just when things had started to get a little easier, we got introduced to two new practices, one of which added an element of difficulty.

First, we were taught how to practice Vipassana meditation. You see, during the first three and a half days, we only practised Anapana, a breath awareness meditation to prepare our minds and bodies for the real deal. I enjoyed learning about the actual Vipassana technique and was looking forward to practising it.

Second, we got introduced to the practice of adhitthana or strong determination sittings: sitting for one hour with strong determination not to change posture or open the eyes. In other words, we were not allowed to change posture or open our eyes for an entire hour. From now on going forward, the three one-hour group meditations were all to be practised with strong determination.

The evening of day 4 gave me the first taste of Adhiththan. Frankly, it was brutal. After about thirty minutes, the pain really started getting to me. My upper back and neck were just killing me. To say that I was shaking and trembling would be an understatement.

Luckily, I was well-prepared for dealing with such setbacks. Instead of beating myself up or drowning myself in shame or guilt, I chose to treat myself with warmth, understanding, and compassion. I consoled myself, picked myself back up, and resolved to do better tomorrow.

Days 5–9: Achieving Proficiency, The Miracle of Equanimity, and Fighting With Boredom

Days 5–9 were kind of like the heart of the practice. We kept struggling through our meditations with the main aim of getting better at a particular skill called equanimity(Samta).

Equanimity(Samta) is the art of non-reactivity, of non-resistance, of staying calm and optimistic in the face of painful and difficult situations.

You see, we live in a universe of constant change. Sometimes it’s hot, sometimes it’s cold. Sometimes it’s sunny, sometimes it rains. Sometimes you’re happy, sometimes you’re sad. It’s a never-ending cycle. And while there will be many good times in your life, there will inevitably be some difficulties as well. Even if life goes seemingly perfectly, sooner or later you’ll experience the death of a loved one, health issues, old age, or death. No life is without misery.

Equanimity is about realizing that everything is always changing. Instead of resisting and struggling with painful situations, equanimity teaches us to stay calm and realize, “this, too, will pass.” No matter how hopeless or miserable life seems at any one moment, things will get better again. That realization can be a source of incredible strength and optimism.

Vipassana sittings — especially the strong determination sittings — help you learn to stay equanimous even in severe pain. You are going through this torture as training to deal with painful and difficult situations in life where you can’t do anything, but have to face it.

Once I understood this theory, the Adhiththan sittings became quite easy. In fact, on days five to ten, I was able to successfully sit through all of them.

The key for me was to stay equanimous to both the pain and my thoughts during the meditation. Instead of fighting with myself, resisting the pain, and getting angry at whatever thoughts my mind was producing, I just kept reminding myself to stay detached and non-reactive to whatever was happening. I kept telling myself, “this, too, will pass.” No matter how intense the pain felt, I just kept bringing my attention back to the meditation. No matter what excuse my mind was trying to convince me of, I just kept bringing my attention back to the meditation.

No matter what, I just kept bringing my attention back to the meditation, while staying as equanimous, accepting, and non-reactive as possible.

Then, I made a great discovery. The more equanimous I stayed, the weaker the pain became. I don’t know if the pain actually got weaker or if I was just less bothered by it. Whatever the case, this worked.

On days 6 to 10, the adhiththan sittings really weren’t a big deal anymore. I just did what I was supposed to do while staying calm and non-reactive for the entire sixty minutes. No more agitation. No more anger. No more aggression. No more anxiously waiting for the gong. Just going through the motions with acceptance and equanimity.

It was remarkable progress from getting agitated and having to change posture every few minutes on day 1 to be able to sit peacefully in the same posture for sixty minutes after day 5.

With that being said, there was one thing that was bothering me on the last days of my retreat: boredom. After six or seven days of meditating 10 hours daily, my motivation really took a hit and never recovered until the end. It was just always the same thing, over and over (and over!) again. Sit down. Move your attention throughout the body. Bring back attention if your mind has wandered. Stay equanimous. Repeat.

This was unfortunate and somewhat annoying, but what can be done? I just accepted the fact that I was bored and kept doing my best anyway. My practice suffered a bit and was lacking the vigour and diligence I brought forth on the first six to seven days. Again, I just did the best I could under the circumstances.

And then, finally, day 10 arrived…

Day 10: From Noble Silence to Noble Chattering

In the aftermath, day 10 was one of the highlights of my retreat. After the strong determination sitting from 9–10 am.

One important and last part of Vipassana is Mangal Maitri(Metta meditation.)

Metta Bhavana (Mangal maîtri) is an outpouring of goodwill, love and compassion for the world. May all be happy (Bhavatu Sabba Mangalam, Sarve Bhavantu Sukhinah),

May I be free, Free from all hatred, ill will, animosity.

May all share my peace, my harmony, my merits.

May I develop love, goodwill, peace, harmony?

The noble silence got lifted and we were finally able to talk to each other at 10 am after Mangal Maitri.

The picture at Day 10 of Vipassana Meditation

The discussions were incredibly interesting and animated. Everyone was uplifted, positive, and in a great mood. In the beginning, it was all about sharing one’s experiences and struggles before the topics changed to real-life matters such as entrepreneurship, spirituality, and so on.

The whole day was one fascinating discussion, only interrupted by the remaining two adhiththan sittings of the day. According to the teachers, this was okay because the chattering and meditating didn’t go well together anyway. Instead of the usual ten hours of meditation, day 10 was reduced to approximately five hours (the two morning hours + the three strong determination group settings).

I was really surprised to meet so many successful, driven, and like-minded people at the retreat. The average meditator wasn’t removed from the world, spaced out, woo-woo, or otherwise weird. Instead, the average person I met was very much like me: interested in the world, open, tolerant, committed to personal growth, and determined to explore his or her full potential.

I am definitely going to stay in contact with a few of the people I met there.

Apart from making new friends, day 10 tackled some organizational stuff: rides home, donations, future retreats, volunteering, info about day 11, and so on.

Day 11: Back to the Real World

We woke up at 4 am one last time. Instead of the usual two-hour meditation, however, we listened to a final talk and some chanting by S N Goenka.

Afterwards, breakfast was served and the cleaning of the house got organized (you can decide whether you want to stay for another thirty to sixty minutes to help clean everything).

After either breakfast or cleaning, we parted ways and re-entered the world. A quick look at my smartphone reassured me that this other world was alive and well.

Leaving the retreat centre, I started wondering what all the hype about Vipassana courses had been about. There was nothing “spectacular” or “life-changing” about my experience. Yes, I was glad I made it through and I’m sure it was incredibly beneficial to my growth as a person. But I had not experienced anything particularly special except some calmness and strong determination. I wasn’t feeling euphoric, ecstatic, or like a changed person.

Instead, I was feeling quite normal (although pleasant) emotions of pride, relief, and positive anticipation. I was incredibly proud because I just made it through ten days of struggle, pain, and hard work. I had shown myself that I had the discipline, strength, and resilience to go through difficult experiences. At the same time, I was feeling relieved that it was over and was looking forward to getting back to normal life again.

Departing from the centre, I would sum up my thoughts as follows: “It was an incredible experience. I’m so glad I did this. I’m super proud of myself. Now let’s go for a trip and trek with my new friends that I made there. I’m excited — let’s get back to the real world!”

What Have I Learned?

Attachment is the source of all suffering.
You can stay in Noble Silence in your life.
You have much more Discipline than you may think.

Conclusion: Would I Do it Again? Would I Recommend it to Others?

Would I do it again? Absolutely! My experience was very positive. Not only did I grow a sense of pride and accomplishment in myself, but I also learned a lot of other valuable lessons that will benefit me in my growth as a person. On top of that, I met some great people, some of which I am still in contact to this day.

I also enjoyed many other aspects of the course. The timetable and rules make a lot of sense in the aftermath — they create a calm and peaceful atmosphere very supportive of meditation. The evening discourses were very informative. Even the food was surprisingly good. I am yet to follow the timetable and discipline what I was following in the 10 days of the retreat.

All in all, I am very happy with my Vipassana retreat. Not only would I do it again, I probably will continue to go on retreats in the future.

Would I recommend it to others? Yes, but… While I think a Vipassana retreat would be beneficial for anyone, I believe that timing is important. You do need a certain amount of self-discipline and/or interest in the topic of meditation before going on a retreat. Otherwise, you’ll probably leave after a few days.

P.S — This is just the beginning of my meditation journey. I have a very long way to go on this path.